To Introduce Myself...

I was raised in a small Southern Indiana town with one sibling, a brother four years younger than me named Seth. My parents, Billie & Tony, were both hard working factory employees. They worked diligently to provide and set a good example for us. Family was always number one. As a 14 year old girl, I can remember talking to my peers about what I wanted to be when I grew up. Most of my friends wanted careers or at least talked about college. My whole life's ambition was to become a wife and mother.

Fast forward seven years and I was working on those goals. I was married shortly after my twenty-first birthday in 2006 and later that summer, gave birth to my first daughter, Harleigh. She brought a feeling of fulfilment into my life. I had never felt so much love for any one person until 20 months after her birth, when I had my second daughter, Abigail. The love I felt for my children was intoxicating. I'm sure that any outsider listening to me talk, would have been nauseated at the constant stories and pictures. It was heaven. My marriage however, was not working out.

On September 1, 2008, I moved back into the bedroom I grew up in- this time, with an 8 month old baby (Abby) and a 2 ½ year old (Harleigh). My marriage was ending but I honestly felt as though my life were just beginning. I had enough love for my children for two parents and knew that we would find our place and succeed.  

It was only months before a random connection on the internet with an old classmate lead to a meeting in the very park that we played together on as children. His name was Tyler. Throughout school he was relatively popular. Cocky. Arrogant. And yet somehow, oddly charming. It had been more than five years since I last saw him and here I was, toting a toddler. I think I subconsciously took Harleigh for protection or maybe I should say a distraction. At least if I were busy watching her, it might be less obvious that I was so terribly nervous. Here was this guy who I had had an unspoken crush on, whom had never shown much interest in me, agreeing to meet me at a park to talk. I was surprised at how smoothly our conversation went and at his interest in my daughter. It seemed so natural, not forced at all. But I had already told myself that even though he seemed to be a different person than the kid I went to school with, that this was probably a one time event. When we left in our separate vehicles, I didn’t expect more than a cordial “hello” the next time I bumped into him. I was ok with it- I knew I had a lot of baggage- for anyone. To my surprise, he called that night. That’s how our relationship began.

Tyler loved me in a way that I had never felt before and I loved him too. I had a hard time breathing or even focusing when I thought about our relationship. I wanted to tell everyone just what I had found in this man (and I’m sure I probably did). He was a little more reserved with his feelings but there were things that he did that made my heart feel so full that it might bust. His hand on my lower back. Cards for no reason. Constant praise and compliments. The biggest and most important thing that he did was love my children. He referred to them as his daughters and they began calling him “daddy”.

Tyler, the girls, and I moved into a small house in Bedford at the beginning of 2009.  He took a job at the sheriff’s department and I bounced around between a couple of jobs. Our relationship intensified and there was a lot of talk of marriage. Since I had had my tubes tied after Abby, it would be very difficult if not financially impossible for us to have children together. Tyler said that if we weren't able to conceive, that he still loved my children. But he was very confident in, “if there is a will, there is a way”.  It was apparently a risk that he was willing to take. Near my birthday in November 2009, he asked me marry him. He wanted me, my baggage, and my children. He wanted “us”.  Of course, I said yes.

With new things to come, we purchased a house in Mitchell soon after our engagement. There was wedding planning and house decorating to do. Tyler and I were elated. My children were happy and content in our new home. On July 24, 2010, I can honestly say that I married my best friend. I was physically weak in the knees but when I saw him standing at the alter; he whispered that he loved me, and that everything was ok. That’s all I needed.

Tyler and I had big plans for the following spring. We went out on a limb and spent our entire tax return to make our dreams of having a baby together possible. The night before my surgery, we sat down and wrote out the names of our future children. It was sort of an activity to pass time but also a good foundation for later when we would hopefully have a baby in our arms. The next day, Dr. Levin, a specialist in Louisville, performed my tubal ligation reversal surgery on March 17, 2011. Recovery was much harder than what I had expected but all I could see was the light at the end of the tunnel; a baby that Tyler and I could call “ours”.