Hello there

No one tells you how lonely it can feel when you have a new baby.  

A baby's fuzzy, soft skin and sweet smell is intoxicating. It's kryptonite for moms and anyone else with "baby fever". You're probably reading this and thinking I'm ungrateful to have had such a blessing and complain. Or maybe you're a mother too and remember those nights.  The ones that you spend up walking the floor alone as your family sleeps.  You hear their snores or the whir of a fan coming from their bedrooms but not one person stirs. You pace back and forth humming and trying to soothe the baby in the your arms. Once you realize they're asleep, laying them down without waking them seems like a HUGE task. Sometimes it's successful and you get a couple of hours of sleep and other times the baby's startle reflex brings them to life and you're back to the pacing and bouncing.  

But the late-night stuff, that's not the real lonely part...

The lonely part comes while you're in a room full of people. Your bond to your baby is so strong and intense. Every minute is dedicated to baby. For feedings, baby wants you. For comfort, it's you. In the middle of the night, just you. And the whole "you" thing is so incredibly lonely. It sets you apart from all the dads and grandmas and loved ones. But you find yourself disconnected from everything else... family... friends... spouse. You'd think all of the close bonding would make you want space but it's quite the opposite. You feel as though you have lost the person you were before the baby was born.. your individual pursuits and relationships seem distant. You crave attention, validation, support,... a hug that's not dripping with baby vomit.  It's incredibly hard to express that without feeling guilty. 

Shouldn't I be happy? Fulfilled? Anything but lonely. But the truth is folks, motherhood is amazing but it's also a complicated mess of mixed emotions and lonely is just one of them. 

Hug a new mom, friends.