My first baby is nine...
Some days I'm caught off guard by changes I see in Harleigh. She'll use a phrase that I don't attribute to her being 'only nine years old' or she'll challenge something she sees or hears and I think to myself, When did that happen? When did she change?
There was a time that Harleigh was my only focus. I took countless pictures of her sweet face and cherished every sound she made. She was literally the very center of every shot of my camera. Shortly before she turned two, we welcomed Abby into the family and then they shared the spotlight. Each one was not more precious than the other. As Harleigh grew more mobile and independent, she was harder to nail down for posed or candid photos so Abby gradually moved to the center of the frame. And then as Abby grew older, she too, became difficult to catch with my camera. There were probably large gaps in time in which I didn't use an actual camera but instead took quick snaps on my cell phone.
But as I sit here writing this, I'm nearly in tears because although I have many singular memories, I'm struggling to actually remember the moments.
And honestly, I'm even getting more upset with myself coming to the realization that there are media cards and discs with my precious memories on them that have been misplaced by time. And when I say time, I mean by me. By my in ability to ever hold onto anything and my frequent purging binges when I've thrown away boxes and bags of items without so much as looking through them. I've been so careless with my memories. I think about how I spent endless hours as a kid sifting through picture albums in my grandparents homes and how for Harleigh, there will be gaps of time that mementos don't exist.
Super sad face.
There was a time that Harleigh was my only focus. I took countless pictures of her sweet face and cherished every sound she made. She was literally the very center of every shot of my camera. Shortly before she turned two, we welcomed Abby into the family and then they shared the spotlight. Each one was not more precious than the other. As Harleigh grew more mobile and independent, she was harder to nail down for posed or candid photos so Abby gradually moved to the center of the frame. And then as Abby grew older, she too, became difficult to catch with my camera. There were probably large gaps in time in which I didn't use an actual camera but instead took quick snaps on my cell phone.
But as I sit here writing this, I'm nearly in tears because although I have many singular memories, I'm struggling to actually remember the moments.
And honestly, I'm even getting more upset with myself coming to the realization that there are media cards and discs with my precious memories on them that have been misplaced by time. And when I say time, I mean by me. By my in ability to ever hold onto anything and my frequent purging binges when I've thrown away boxes and bags of items without so much as looking through them. I've been so careless with my memories. I think about how I spent endless hours as a kid sifting through picture albums in my grandparents homes and how for Harleigh, there will be gaps of time that mementos don't exist.
Super sad face.
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