A New Journey...

Tyler, the girls, and I became a family six and a half years ago. I had previously had my tubes tied so it was sort of understood that our options for expanding our family were limited. At first, Tyler seemed content with just raising my girls as his own. He was doing a wonderful job but I think like a lot of people, he desired to have a child of his own. In 2011, we had an elective surgery to have my tubal ligation reversed. Our quest to have a child started nearly immediately.

We spent a year allowing 'nature' to take it's course and just as I was starting to lose hope, we learned that we were pregnant in April 2012. Finally. Tyler and I were overjoyed. Our families were ecstatic. I had what I'd consider an effortless pregnancy. Very little sickness and no complications. My weight gain was minimal. My health was good. We found out in August 2012 at our gender ultrasound  at 21 weeks, that we were having a son! Unfortunately, our joy was quickly dashed by our son's subsequent medical diagnosis of Anencephaly.....  The devastation of the loss of our son completely rocked our family, it nearly killed me in a spiritual sense.  We memorialized him and tried to continue our journey. (I still feel him everyday)

In early 2013, we were blessed with another positive pregnancy test.  After some minor health issues for myself, we learned that our baby no longer had a heartbeat at around 11-12 weeks. It was another gut wrenching loss for us.  My mind and heart needed a break. My body needed a rest. We had to stop.

Tyler and I took a break from even talking about pregnancy and babies but, later the subject came back up. We decided we'd give it another try.

A year of months came and went and every one of them with a negative pregnancy test and heartbreak. Our friends were announcing pregnancies left and right.  Babies were EVERYWHERE. I just really wanted to cry. And scream. And some months, I did. We were struggling with a classic case of unknown infertility.

I become obsessed with conceiving. Positions and timing. Charting and tracking. Temping and checking. I had three apps on my phone that I maintained religiously with intimate details of my marriage. I read up on foods that hurt and those that helped in conception.  I joined several infertility groups online and absorbed any tips that turned positive results from the users I befriended. I read about vitamins and oils that were helpful. The one thing I hadn't done, was consult with my doctor. I started a vitamin called Fertility Blend from GNC and  waited. But ultimately, I'd had enough of trying on our own. 

December 2014, I made an appointment and spilled my guts to my doctor. He thought "at my age" (UGH) that after a year of trying, it was acceptable to start infertility treatments. That completely freaked me out. He wanted to try Clomid in February 2015.  I was overwhelmed immediately thinking we'll never be able to afford infertility treatments .  I left his office optimistic but a little broken.

Tyler and I agreed to what extent we could comfortably afford to proceed and we began our wait.

Since that time, we've kept our hearts guarded and proceeded cautiously but with great optimism. We're finally ready to share our news with the world so to speak. In early January 2015, we learned that we were expecting (without any infertility treatments). Although we were instantaneously excited, we were flooded with all the emotions and worry that our past losses had left us with. After blood work and a recent anatomy scan, we were comforted to hear that our baby is progressing perfectly. The baby's organs are well-formed and functional and we could not be more proud to say, we're having a girl!!!

Our girl, waving.

Beautifully rounded head