Every woman's Christmas List

I've been thinking really hard about what I want for Christmas. I've tossed around a million ideas of material items. (I'm a sucker for a good gift card though honestly. I like what I like and it's hard for someone else to figure that out. Hell, it takes me a couple of shopping trips to find a pair of jeans. Who needs that kind of pressure?) Well, I think I figured out something better.

Compliment me.

I know it sounds horribly cliche but being a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend can be horribly demanding. I wear myself to a frazzle on a regular basis and some days there is nothing left of me to give anyone else.  There's nothing left of me for me.

Here are a few things to tell your wife/girlfriend:

1) I appreciate you (what you do). I think above all else, this is a compliment that women NEED to hear. We put in so much effort daily just trying to keep it all together. Tell us that not only do you notice it, but that you appreciate it.  The more specific, the better.

Example:  Thank you for all that you do. I don't know if I could do it without you.

2) You're beautiful. Our society puts too much emphasis on physical beauty. There's a ton of pressure to look perfect and there are millions of gorgeous women out there who have set the bar pretty high. We want to know that we're meeting the mark.  Switch it up - beautiful, sexy, stunning, attractive...

                

Example: You look gorgeous today. I like that thing you did with your hair. (We don't even care that you don't know what it's called, we care that you noticed.)

3) You're a great mom. Most women are trying to juggle far too much and it's typical for us to doubt ourseles. A women's greatest fear in the failure department is that we will in some way fail as as a parent. 

               

Example:  I know that today was tough but you're a great mom and the kids and I love you.

4) _____made me think of you today. If you saw an advertisement for her favorite movie and it brought her to your mind, say it. She'll love that you were thinking of her. One of my favorite things is when my husband will send me a song lyric. We have a mutual love of music so associating me with a song is quite the compliment to me.

               

Example: On and On was on the radio this morning. I think that's our new song.

5) Let me help. This is a tricky one guys. If we're trying to wrestle a half naked toddler into a diaper, don't ask, DO. Distract the child, hand us the diaper- but for heaven's sake, DO NOT ask if you can help.  You're likely to be met with a growl. Now if she's cleaning house, ask what's next on her list of to-dos.  Then do it, if you ask how she wants it done, we're likely to blow you off because it's just easier to do it ourselves than explain.  Please. Help. Us.

Example:  Let me do the dishes. (You can expect an ear-to-ear grin and more if you're lucky)

6) You're amazing. Here it is again- our super mom/partner multi-tasking skills. If every one is bathed, fed, and alive at the end of the day, without any major hiccups, pat her on the freaking back. Amazing is a pretty heavy word but I guarantee you if you switched places with her, you'd feel the word was waranted. Trust a mother, you should just say it.

                

Example: You're amazing. (This one was simple.)

7) I'm sorry. Ok, this one isn't tricky at all. If you know you messed up, you should tell her. Don't give us the empty words. Explain that you understand your role in the problem and comitt to making a genuine effort to fix things.

Example:  I'm sorry that I said that to you. I will be more considerate of your feelings in the future.

8) I love you. Never assume that we already know. We need actual words, actions are great but seriously, SAY IT. Tell us everyday. We need confirmation- lots of it. It's a security thing.

Women are seriously complex creatures. We're hard to read. We are emotional. We're tough and tender at the same time. But there is nothing that breaks all of that down any faster than hearing any of the things I mentioned above.  Raising a woman's self esteem is a sure fire way to put that spark back in her eye. And as the old saying goes... "Happy wife, happy life."

Yes, I realize these aren't all compliments but you (men) need all the help you can get. ;)