Friendship...

I wanted a good solid basis to begin this blog entry so I decided upon using the best definition I could find for the term "friend" but to my surprise, wikipedia.com and dictionary.com left something to be desired. They portrayed a vague description of the relationship one might have with your local grocery store clerk. I ended up choosing the definition supplied by urbandictionary.com. I know it sounds sort of daft considering that Urban Dictionary is typically used as a search engine for slang terms, but- in this case, I found the most true and realistic account for "friend".

FRIEND:

A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

Tyler and I have had many discussions on whether Facebook friends are real friends. I usually get defensive and state that without Facebook I would have little contact with some of my friends and family. He returns saying that true friends always make time for the people they care about. While he does have a point, I’ve fervently tried to protect the relationships I have with my friends online. They are real. They care about me. They ask about my family and my life. That is real. Right?

As I sit here tonight, I cannot help but think about the time I deleted my account on Facebook. January 2012, Tyler and I agreed, as a New Year's Resolution, to delete our accounts for a number of reasons;  negativity and consumption of precious time to name a few. I ended up leaving my job shortly after deleting my account and went through some serious life changes. It was a difficult time for me and I leaned heavily on my family. I was able to uphold my side of the New Year's Resolution until April- only four months. (Hey- that's a long time when you are a stay-at-home mom!).

I tried in vain to keep in contact with some of my friends- all having their own reasons for being aloof. During those four months, I can count on one hand how many people stayed in contact with me. I received the occasional text but never a phone call or visit.

Do my friendships leave something to be desired?